


Who run the world? Girls!

by pixiedurango



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drinking, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Fun, Gen, Girls talk, Making Plans, girls night, playing pranks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-01 01:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4001155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiedurango/pseuds/pixiedurango
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long hard winter at Skyhold had forced the Inquisition to stay at the keep for weeks. Now spring is back some of the girls come up with a fun plan to get back to business.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Winters End

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fun piece that plopped into my mind while I was on a run.   
> I love the idea of a sporty competition for the Inquisition and I try to make it as much fun to read as possible. For we are in a fantasy world where magic exists I will take the freedom to create my own sports-event and I hope you all will enjoy. It's still unfinished but I have all the chapters until the "main-event" already written. Will post them one after another so stay tuned for more (hopefully) fun action around skyhold.

„It is so delightful... This nasty winter is about to be gone soon... all this snow... I really hate it. I long for the sun...“ Josephine stretched out in front of the fireplace where a cozy fire was spending warmth and light.

She held a glass of red wine in her hand and her giggles showed that is was not the first one.

„We all do...“ Leliana sighed and folded her arms in front of her knees. She was sitting on the soft carpet of the Inquisitors quarters a mug with brandy-infused tea beside her..

„I can’t wait to get out in the fields again... Time to recover and taking rest from battle is fine but it’s about ten weeks now that we could not leave Skyhold because of all this friggin snow...” Nininaelle Lavellan was laying on her giant bed belly down. Head and arms hanging down from the bed foot. In front of her a bottle with red wine. The bottle was more than half empty.

„Twelve... if not longer...” Cassandra mumbled with a heavy tongue from the head of the bed where she was sitting her back leaning at the wooden head-end. Next to her a huge ale-jug, almost empty.

„Inkie, Inkie, Inkie... as if you been bored... I know what kept you warm and busyyyy” Sera was busting with cackles and almost fell from the huge desk on which she was sitting tailor-fashioned holding her own wine-bottle between her crossed legs.

„You mean _who_...” Josie jumped in giggling.

„Ahhh come on... don’t blame me for keeping myself warm the most fun way possible...” Nini rolled herself on her back and joined the snickering. „there must be a perk of being Inquisitor after all...”

„Well if it’s a perk making out with a grumpy bearded warrior in a hayloft, then you got them all, Inquisitor...” Cassandra grinned and ducked away from the pillow that came flying her way with force.

„Naaah, don’t you think of Blackwall as a grumpy man... in fact he can be a funny guy who has a great collection of dirty jokes and a lot of other important qualities...” Nini lifted her bottle and observed the remains of the dark liquid within by holding it over her head and gazing from the bottles bottom up.

„Spare us the details Inquisitor, I beg you...” Leliana snorted with laughter.

„Be sure I’m... errrrm... _kissing_ but not telling, so don’t you worry girls.”

„Happy to hear that...” Cass grinned and took the pillow Nini had thrown and pushed it behind her back for more comfort. „Beside that I am sure one day we’ll be able to read some nice tales based on your life and especially your love-life anyway... For we have a famous storyteller among us.”

„And I know who’ll be the first and most devoted reader...” Josephine raised her glass towards Cassandra who just made some disgruntling noise of disapproval. But she blushed and everyone knew that Josie hit a point.

The girls of Skyhold busted with laughter again and finally Cass joined in.

„You know...” Nininaelle eventually went kind of serious again. With a heavy tongue because of all the wine inside her head but trying hard to sound as dignified as possible. „I really think I may have been a bit distracted lately... Having a good time off does not mean that I should forget the others here on Skyhold. Weeks of winter and isolation... Not everyone may have had the luck finding someone to warm their bed or at least having a hobby or task to spend their time with. We should do something to cheer our people up... for morale, ya’all know?”

Josie brightened up in an instant.

„Shall we throw a ball?”

„Maybe better a big barbecue with campfires and bards and food for everyone? Not all the people may be comfortable with the formal rules of a ball.” Leliana threw in.

„Why not holding a tourney? I would love to attend in the grand melee” Cass, of course.

„Paaaaaaartyyyy....” stated Sera, followed by more cackling laughter.

The Dalish Inquisitor sat up.

„ I love it. All of it. Let’s do it. Let’s come up with some kind of distraction for Skyhold’s people. In fact I like the idea of a tourney most but we should put a bit more pepper into the concept.”

Suddenly they were all at attention, even Sera stopped giggling and waited eagerly what was about to come next.

Nini pointed out:

„I want something we are able to schedule fast and with as little organization as possible... Skyhold only... our people, you understand?” Josie was already taking notes.

„How can we spice up a tourney without the need of inviting all Thedas and make a big thing out of it?” Leliana was thinking out loud.

„Let them fight naked...” Sera. Giggling.

„Well I guess I would like that, but...” a grin appeared on Ninis face. „I’m not sure we should stretch our luck that much by just _ordering_ it...“

„Naaa, ya know, don’t need to see that...” Sera shrugged. „but maybe if Cass would join them, would be sweet innit?” A cheeky grin brightened up her round face then she let herself falling down from the desk to duck from the flying pillow, this time from Cassandra across the room. It missed Sera and hit the wall behind the desk.

„So, Inquisitor what I wonder is how will you make them attend in a tourney so they can get sweaty enough to maybe strip voluntarily...” Josie asked breaking it down.

„Despite the fact most of them are always eager to rumble just for the honor of being the best thug of them all? Well, as I said it must have some perks being the Inquisitor...” Nini smirked. „Maybe we should not call it tourney but just schedule a kind of....”

„... _drill_!” Cassandra was the first to understand.

„We never scheduled drills for the inner circle and the leading officers or advisers...” like always Leliana was all about practicability. „What would be our explanation to do it now...”

„Easy!” all heads turned to Sera. She snickered and went on. „Have you seen them lads lately? Putting on some meat, all of them, I swear! Not chasing them around for saving the world, Inkie... no good. Caught Dorian being out of breath after walking the steps to his snooty-booky-place...”

Nininaelle leaned back and watched highly amused how everyone was trying now to hide their checking on themselves whether they, too, were affected by the mysterious winter-weight-gain-and-getting-out-of-shape-issue.

„Ladies, we are still gorgeous and in best of our shape, so let’s kick some butts... Sera really hit a point... The missing every day routine of running and fighting seems to have some effect on our fellow male-companions... I’ve... errrm seen it myself...“ She blushed and hurried to distract them by changing the subject fast. „Let’s say two teams. Us against them... and - since you mentioned stairs, Sera - I think I have a great idea. Josie, take notes, we’ll not leave without a plan tonight.”

 


	2. best laid plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making the rough draft now Nininaelle, Josie and Leliana have to "convince" Cullen that there will be a "drill" soon.   
> What can the poor man do... it's 3:1

  
„This is ridiculous!” Cullen looked up from the assignment just to see three utterly neutral faces.  
„I mean, you cannot be serious, scheduling a drill like this. We’ve never done this before! Why now?”

Leliana and Josie exchanged an unnoticeable glance while the Inquisitor began with her prepared argumentation. How this was both a good way to exercise and to get prepared of going out again after winters break and at the same time a good thing for the moral of Skyhold people in general and the troops in particular, seeing their leader perform a drill like this.

„Damn she’s good!” Leliana whispered barely audible and Josie nodded hiding behind her writing pad not to show her amusement about the situation.

Cullen tried hard to avoid the upcoming event with bringing up thoughtful arguments but simply the fact that he was outnumbered 3:1 made this hopeless.   
And beside that, he had been never very good refusing anything the Inquisitor was asking for.

„Makers breath, do you even know how much effort it will be setting up such a tournament?” he finally tried to reason, but Nini smiled gleefully.

„Josephine?”

The Ambassador hurried by, handing over a scroll to Cullen that listed up all the necessary steps for the event. She also had completed every bullet-point with the person in charge and the due time. Nini gave her an approving nod and a wink.

„You see, with all this in view we can schedule our little event in less than two weeks. I would recommend, you gather your fellow team-mates as soon as possible and start preparing. But no matter what you’ll try to put up... we will shatter you! I think that’s all for todays meeting. Have a wonderful day you all. Josie, Leliana, see you later. Cullen. Good luck.”

Cullen stood there speechless, watching the Inquisitor leave the war room in disbelieve. He turned around to find his fellow advisers snickering. When he turned they tried to put up a neutral face again, but he realized that they already had teamed up.

„So this is truly a challenge, ladies?” he asked, trying hard to keep some dignity.

Josephine smiled engaging and replied.  
„It’s only a jolly event for a good cause. We all will do our best to make it a great day for all the people living here with us and working hard every day. It’s like active charity work, Cullen, and I think it will be a great fun, too.”

Cullen just sighed, shook his head and heeded out. He had to write some urgent notes immediately.


	3. Bring on the boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and his team are having their first meeting about the upcoming drill. They have no idea what this all will be about but they finally decide that they will team up and jump into the competition against the ladies of Inquisition.

IMPORTANT

TOP SECRET

COMMANDERS ORDERS

Meeting today at sundown

My Office

PS: If you witness strange behavior from the Inquisitor (stranger than usual), my fellow advisors or anyone else until we meet – pretend you don’t see or hear anything.

Explanations will follow.

 Cullen S. Rutherford

 

 ~   ~   ~

„Commander, what’s this all about. Ordering us here to gather in inconvenience and secrecy. Are you planning a revolution?” Dorian glanced around in Cullens office where he found himself as ordered at sundown. Every male member of the inner circle was there and now they tried to figure out what was going on. „First it would be interesting why we are meeting up here and not just gathering around a tavern table.“

Cullen frowned. „Sera.“

„Sera? Sorry I don’t get the connection here.“ Dorian looked puzzled but Bull seemed to understand.

„If we would have met in the tavern it would be most likely that Sera overhears what we are going to talk and I assume the Commander wants to prevent that.“ The Qunari explained but Dorian shrugged.

„So what? Sera overhears literally _everything_. Where would be the difference here?“

„Well, I would prefer that our meeting stays between us. Let me tell you what our Inquisitor and my dear fellow advisers have made up and you’ll understand.”

„We are all ears Cullen. Please inform us if it’s that important.” Solas seemed a bit uncomfortable and leaned against the wall close to the main door.

„Well Gentlemen, it seems we are all lucky contenders in what appears to be a scheduled drill.”

„A _what_?” snapped Dorian in disbelieve.

„A drill... to prepare us for going back into the fields... and to give the brave people of Skyhold some distraction after the long hard winter.” Cullen looked not happy. „If you ask me, it looks like a kind of tourney and they just named it „drill” so we cannot refuse to take part.”

„Wait, wait, wait...” Bull was already grinning and also Blackwall looked quite intrigued by the idea of being a contender in an actual tourney. „So you say, the Inquisitor scheduled a tourney and it’s mandatory to take part...”

„Ridiculous...” snorted Solas from behind.

„What is a tourney?” Cole looked puzzled.

„A kind of competition, kid” Varric tried to explain. „Hang on for a second and just listen. Cullen will explain.

„So, what are we talking here in particular?” Bull was eager for details.

„I do not know exactly, to be honest...” Cullen shrugged again. „Only thing I have is this: Scheduled two weeks from now. Meeting at sunrise at the big stairs to the main hall. No armor required but equipped with every ones preferred weapon. The drill is scheduled for the whole day and I have information that it will be testing both, endurance and fighting skills. We are going to be one team and we will compete against... well, the rest of us”

„No jousting? No big melee?” Blackwall seemed a bit disappointed but Bull waved away his concerns with a careless gesture.

„Never mind, Warden. We’ll have a great time anyway... did you listen? We’ll compete against our ladies... Oh I already love to sparr with the seeker, but now I’ll get the chance to really compete with her... I am looking _so_ forward to it!”

„Gentlemen... this cannot be all...” Varric shook his head and glanced around. „Where does this come from... why are they scheduling something like this? What do they have in mind... I am just wondering...”

Blackwall sighed. „Makers balls... Varric, maybe you hit a point... they had a kind of... ummmm how shall I put it... a kind of _girls-night_ yesterday...”

„A _what_?” everyone except Bull and probably Cole seemed to know what Blackwall meant.

„Meeting up, drinking a lot of wine and maker knows what else and... well... making up silly stuff for which we are now carrying the can for...” Varric explained as decent as possible.

Dorian started to laugh and Solas shook his head in resignation. Cole still looked utterly puzzled.

„So you mean, we are now into this trifle together because the ladies of the Inquisition drank themselves into a stupor together and made up silly stuff while they were wasted? Andrastes golden knickers, this is _hilarious_!”

„But how can they think, they’ll beat us?” Bull was wondering. „We have assumingly the two strongest warriors in all Thedas, a necromancer and“ he nodded towards Varric, „we have Bianca.“

„Well I don’t know. Since we don’t have the details and in fact they are setting the terms, I would assume they’ll make something up we’ll have a pretty hard time with...” Cullen replied. „Only thing we can do is trying to be prepared for what ever they’ll come up with.”

„Cassandra is in.” Blackwall stated. „So I am sure there will be nothing unfair or making fun of us. She is just too much in for justice at any cost. And I say another thing: No matter how wasted they were when they invented this plan, they are all honorable and skilled fighters with a big variation of knowledge. They don’t need to make something up to have a legit chance to put us down... They are worthy opponents. So we better start training.”

Cullen and Varric nodded. Dorian still smirked highly amused and Solas fell into stoic silence.

„So we are playing a game?” Cole asked with a bright face and he seemed somehow attracted by the idea.

„Yes, kid. A kind of. We are all still friends but we are going to find out who can do several things better than the others. This will be like a game but sometimes like a fight, too. We will build a team and the ladies of the Inquisition build another. Important thing is, that you always remember that we are still friends, even when we seem to fight. No one is going to hurt anyone on purpose.“

Cole nodded, obviously chewing heavy on all this new information.

„You know what I am wondering?” Bull mused. „Just make a list... Myself, Blackwall, Cullen, Dorian, Solas, Varric and Cole... A team of seven. You said we all are assigned.”

„Whats your point?” Cullen frowned.

„Just count: Inquisitor, Sera, The Seeker, Leliana maybe... That gets me four. They will probably assign Vivienne, but I’m not sure they can convince her to participate. If so, it would make only five. Two still missing to make it even.”

„I think, you hit a point, Bull... they’ll have a lot of convincing to do with Lady Glitterpants.” Dorian was grinning.

„I think we can gladly leave this problem to the other team.” Cullen seemed eager now to come to an end and with a gesture he asked all of them to gather around the big desk. Even Solas so it seems had accepted that he was in this with the others. And when he pushed his self from the wall and came across the room to the desk he almost was showing an odd smirk. „Can I report that we are all accepting the challenge?” Cullen glanced from one to another and they all nodded.

„So... back to work! And remember to watch your words about what ever we will speak among us about this matter. I am sure they’ll try to find out about our strategies. You Blackwall, I don’t want to ask you in particular but just keep your ears open, maybe you’ll learn one or two things.. ”

„Well Commander, I understand how important this may be but I will not spy on the Inquisitor if you imply such a thing.”

„Oh far from it, Blackwall. I would never give such an order. I was just hoping that you’ll probably hear more than we do...” Cullen made a soothing gesture.

„With all due respect, Cullen, which part of ‚ _I will not spy on the Inquisitor_ ’ you did not understand?” Blackwall spoke calm but his cold voice showed that he was very serious about this matter.

„Never mind Blackwall. You are right, we should not let such a ridiculous thing come between us. Gentlemen. Have a good day. I’ll send notes if necessary.” and he literally shoved them out.

Cullen closed this strange meeting and they all left the office with quite a mixture of feelings.

 


	4. Wishes be orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ladies of the Inquisition need to complete their team for the upcoming drill tournament against the male-Companions. So Nini has some serious persuading to do. First on her list: Vivienne.

„Darling, what makes you think I would take part in such a silly thing? As if I would not have important matters to attend...” Vivienne raised one of her perfectly arched eyebrows and Nini had a pretty hard time not starting to roll eyes right in front of her.

„Well Vivienne. Maybe because I asked most politely for it instead of just giving Inquisitors orders.” she replied instead, smiling her most modest smile. „But let’s not discuss hierarchies here. You are here on your own terms and I would hate to press anything on you. And that is the reason I am asking you to take part as a fellow member of the Inquisition.” Nininaelle did not raise her voice but she had a kind of talent to appear bigger, more dignified, even divine at times. She used it in negotiations and as such she considered this talk right now.

„To be frank, dear, I don’t see any sense in that plan of yours. Who would have any advantage of playing a game in front of commoners.” it seemed nothing would convince the knight enchanter to participate in the upcoming event.

„First: We all had a few very cold weeks of poor training and loads of food. Before we go out in the fields again, we should make sure we are still in our best physical constitution. I am far from saying that you or I need to worry about bad form from indulging in any way... but I am responsible for all my inner circle and I want to give a few of them simply a friendly reminder to concentrate on form and training again.

„Could you not just write a note and schedule them for extra hours in the training area?” Viviennes voice got a stressed undertone that Nininaelle as friendly ignored as the whole question Viv just had prompted.

„Second: The so called _commoners_ you just mentioned are also part of the Inquisition. They are the people who make this whole thing _work_. They are the people who clean up after me. And after you. They are our responsibility and being payed and have a save place sometimes isn’t enough. You’ll have to show them they belong. Prove that they matter and that they deserve having a good time.”

„At our cost?” Vivienne asked indignant.

„I don’t see your point. We are all high skilled warriors and showing our abilities in a friendly competition will be at no point making a fool out of ourselves. We are most likely to become role-models plus we show that we are capable of protecting our people. That’s what leaders do. Good ones I mean. And...” the Dalish Inquisitor with the rift-colored eyes made a strategic pause then stroke her final blow on the elegant Mage. „I really would love to have you at my team rather than... let’s say Fiona...” Nini showed her most gracious smile while thinking ‚In. Your. Face. Bitch.’.

„I see, darling. Well, the way you put it, at least it makes a little sense to me now. So if I can be of any assistance to make this event a stunning success, I would _love_ to attend.” The way Viv emphasized her words made clear that she was still _not_ fond of the idea. But the Inquisitor had finally won her over at least to participate. And Nini knew, that Vivienne was going to put all in because staying behind her personal best would be simply impossible for the highly ambitious Lady-Mage.

„That’s the spirit Lady de Fer. I am looking forward to have you on our team. And it will be a great occasion to show that we care for our people. You will receive all the information needed as soon as possible. Feel free to prepare the way you find suitable and necessary.”

„Thank you my dear, it is most delightful and flattering, to put so much effort into recruiting me. I gladly will reward it with giving my best.”

„As always, my lady.”

„As always, Inquisitor darling. Have a good day.”

„And you, too, Vivienne.” Nininaelle rose from the ottoman and nodded delicate and graceful towards the Mage and slipped through the door nearby.

~   ~   ~

The moment, the door had closed behind her, she broke into silly jumps, waving fists and silent screams of victory until she was about to enter Solas’ rotunda she had to cross in order to reach the stairs up to the library.

She was not showing any emotion when she greeted the Elven-Mage and exchanged some friendly words.

Also when she passed Dorian in the Library she showed her most harmless expression and joked casually with the Tevinter as usual.

Leliana was already waiting for her, when she finally climbed the stairs up to her raven-tower. They stepped out on the balcony to be sure no one would overhear them.

„Vivienne is in.” stated Nini without any greetings and Lelianas face brightened.

„Well done, Inquisitor. It will be no fun neither for her nor for us but she will give her best because she cannot afford less.”

„I know. And it will work that way. Any other news?” Nini asked.

Leliana smiled and came out with her own news:

„Harding is also in. She is fast on her feet and a kickass with her bow.”

„Yay! I love that.” Ninis face brightened up again. „Shes also fun to have around. Good work.”

„So there is one spot left.” Leliana sighed. „What do we do?”

„I had hoped, you would have an idea.” the Inquisitor replied.

Leliana shook her head.

„Dagna is already assigned to do the arcane work we need for the event. And beside that... she is clever but not the kind of sport I would add to the team.”

„I agree. But that does not help. Maybe one of the female chargers?” Nini was thinking out loud but Leliana shook her head.

„I would always assume they will stay loyal to Bull so I would have serious trust-issues with any of them around.”

„We could ask Josie. She is in good shape and I know she has some skills with daggers as long as she has not to throw them on real targets. But we would lose our friendly host for the event...” Nini sighed. Both they stood there for a while musing in silence while watching the incredible surrounding landscape from one of the highest points in Skyhold. The wind was ice cold and pulling heavy on their clothes but they did not bother right now. Suddenly, Nininaelles face lit up and she grinned.

„Makers b...reath! We are so stupid!” Leliana recognized that Nini just changed her usual cursing into a chantry friendlier version in respect to her own believes and she approved that without telling.

„Who?” she asked instead and when the Inquisitor told her, she started laughing and shake her head. „Forget it. This will most likely never happen.”

„That was your bet with Viv, too. You already owe me a good bottle of Mackay’s Epic Single Malt. Make it two and I’ll bring this baby also into the team.” Nininaelle grinned into Lelianas face and the Spymaster finally stretched her hand out. Now grinning, too.

„Deal. Bring her in and I’ll make it a whole crate.”

 

 


	5. Last in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ladies of Inquisition are still on team-member short and the Inquisitor talks in Morrigan to participate in the upcoming event they made up during a girls-night at Ninis quarters.

 

„Oh, Inquisitor, _this_ most likely will never happen. I wonder why you even bothered to ask...” Morrigan laughed but it did not show up into her eyes..

„Well, I will not tell stories for you about doing charity work for our people or lack of training or something like this. It’s all matter of fact but I’m just telling _you_ that we need

you for this and that I would love to have you on my team because you are a stunning fighter.”

„But it has no _purpose_.”

„Well, even Leliana has recognized that fun sometimes is purpose enough.”Nininaelle shrugged, her face showed no emotion.

„Wait, Leliana is participating in this?” The Witch of the wild asked in disbelieve.

„In fact she was with us when we came up with it.”

„Well I thought she was over things like that.” The witch of the wild murmured and there still seemed to be no way to talk Morrigan in.

Nini put up a jovial smile.

„Everyone changes. When times are rough every person needs to adapt in order to survive. When I wandered the woods or sneaking into cityhouses to steal and kill I

never thought one day I’ll lead the Inquisition, wear shiny clothes, dance in Halamshiral or run around Thedas closing rifts. I do a lot of things because I _must_. Most of them I

may do even pretty good. But _this_ one thing I will do because I _want_ to do it. Just for fun. Even if people call it ridiculous or pointless. I want to do it and I would really appreciate

if you could decide also being part of it.”

Morrigan raised one of her eyebrows. Watching the Dalish Inquisitor intensely trying to figure out what to make of this.

„Are you trying to manipulate me?” she asked with a sharp undertone beneath her friendly voice.

„By telling you the truth?” Nininaelle grinned. „Would be a new thing I guess. I told you what I want, now it’s up to you. I will not beg you.”

The witch of the wild bowed her head in a small gesture of acknowledgment.

„I understand. And I think you may be right with everything you told me and everything you did not mention. We could use a bit of fun after this dark time. Afterwards we can

focus again on our main goal. And beside that... I always found joy in beating up random guys... So it may be a promising event after all. Put me on the list.”

„Thank you, Morrigan, I really appreciate that.” Nininaelles smile was genuine even when the witch could not help to respond:

„You better do. You have just recruited a lot of skill to your team. And as far as I see, you’ll need any help you can get.”

„I appreciate that. Really I do. So I’ll leave you to your researches now and be happy to see you at the event.”

They exchanged some polite greetings and Nininaelle left the gardens.

On her way down the long corridors, she came across Cullen.

He greeted her reluctant and tried hard to read Ninis face and words when they chatted a few moments. Finally she asked:

„Are you seeing Leliana soon?”

„In fact I’m just on my way to discuss some matters in preparation of the next war-table meeting, yes.”

„Great, could you please deliver a short message to her?”

„Sure. You want to write it down? I should... I must have... scroll and quill... somewhere...” awkwardly he was searching his pockets and the pile of things he was carrying with

him.

„Never mind. Just tell her that she should better find that crate. She will know. Have a great day Cullen and...” she looked up to him and gave him her sweetest smile. „don’t

forget your training... time flies...”

 


	6. learning the rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time we’ll meet the dudes planning strategies for the upcoming “drill” where they will have to fight against the girls of Inquisition in a fun tournament to win the honor of being the better team. Also we learn about the rules for the upcoming event.

 

IMPORTANT 

STRATEGIC MEETING, DRILL-RELATED

My Office, at noon

Rules are in! 

Cullen S. Rutherford

 

By noon they all were there and had gathered around Cullens desk like it was the war table. A dense written parchment was laying on the desk and when finally they all came to silence, Cullen began to speak.

„So, now that we are finally back here to learn what kind of challenge we will face tomorrow I just thought we’ll put together our raw strategy.”

„Enlighten us Commander. What obstacles we’ll have to face.” Dorians voice held a mocking undertone so everyone could hear that he was more amused than attracted to the

idea that he would have to be part of this tournament.

„That’s why we are here. I’ll give you an overview.” Cullen stated with a stern face, seemingly taking it all very serious and suddenly a glimpse of the Commander showed up in

his demeanor. The Commander he was, when he lead his troops into battle. „First of all, get prepared to run. To run a lot!” he put a rough plan of Skyhold on the table where a

red line was leading around the ramparts, one tower staircase up, another one staircase down into the yards and a trail over the whole area to finally end at the training ground

and leading back to the tower where it lead stairs up again and closed the circle.

“So where’s the deal?” The Iron Bull sounded almost dashed upon the idea. “No sparring? No melee? Hand to hand combat?”

Cullen shook his head. “Not really but as far as I get it, there will be a dummy at the training area set up for every one of the contestants. I don’t know for sure but I bet Dagna is involved. They put up some magic I still try to understand. It is given, that after every round of running everyone has one shot on their dummy to destroy it. Depending on accuracy of the blow with whatever weapon you fight with there will be light, middle or complete damage counted. Everyone has a maximum of three attempts to destroy their personal dummy.”

“So you run less if you are able to destroy your dummy fast.” Dorian put it short.

“Exactly,” Cullen nodded. Finally he relaxed a bit when he saw that they had jumped in and seemed to take the whole thing kind of serious. At least as serious as a tournament

like this could be taken. “If your dummy is standing after the third round, you are out.”

“This seems pretty easy. Too easy for my taste.” Blackwall growled suspiciously, “Where’s the twist?”

“Simple rules, easy to follow, yes “Solas agreed, “but put in mind what is scheduled.” he glanced around the table, “this is supposed to go _all day long_. We will do fine in the

beginning, but the suffering will come. For all of us. And that means _them_ , too.”

Varric sighed deeply and shrugged. “We are fucked. They are going to kill us."

“I thought we are all friends and will not harm each other?” Coles voice almost trembled.

The dwarf patted him on the back and soothed the confused boy who still struggled now and then with his being more human and more specific with understanding the concept

of metaphors, as long as others used them. “It’s just a saying, kid. Don’t you worry. It’s going to be a great fun.” Varric even managed letting his last sentence not sound sarcastic.

Cullen waited until everyone had calmed down again until he resumed. “This was the basics. There are some additional rules.” He smirked, “They really made up a witty well-balanced tournament, gentlemen. And I must say for an idea, born from wine and giggles - as I suppose it was - it’s a hell of a good planned thing. It will be hard but the spectators will have a ball and that’s it what it’s supposed to be.”

“So, we are running and smashing things. We are good at it for we are doing this literally every fucking day.” Bull said, kind of satisfied. “What else?”

“One contestant per team starts.” Cullen resumed. “So usually only one runner of every team is on the circuit. Only exception when one misses the shot on the dummy and gets

a penalty loop. Every time one crosses the start-finish-line, set at the training ground, another runner has to start, no matter whether the previous has earned a penalty or not.”

He looked around to see some puzzled faces. He sighed slightly and put it into other words: “Only remember _at least_ one person of each team _must_ be on the circuit at every

time. Otherwise the other team will be immediately declared as winner.”

“What will we do, while our teammates are on their circuits?” Blackwall asked.

“We, big man,” Bull grinned, “will desperately try to catch our breath until it’s our turn again. And it’s going to be harder and harder the less people remain in the race, because

the breaks will be less and shorter. And if you are the lucky bastard who is last in, you won't have any breaks at all anymore. You will run until you either collapse or the girls drop out completely. But I assume, you'll collpse first.”

"Great!" Blackwall did not found it half as amusing as the others. "But I'd rather would like to keep my dignity and leave the honor of collpsing in front of all Skyhold to another one of us..."

“I can't promise you that.” Cullen chuckled. “But let’s talk a bit of general strategies now. Most important: Don’t waste your energy. Don’t go too fast for it is going to be a long, long day.”

The Iron Bull shook his head. “There will be no deeper strategies to be settled until we know theirs. Or at least the assumption of what theirs might be. So any ideas on that?” He looked around.

“The Inquisitor is their trump-card.” Blackwall stated and it was not to deny that there was a hint of pride in his voice when he talked about his lady. “None of them and for sure

none of us is as good as a runner than she is.”

This was nothing but true. Nininaelle Lavellan loved to run and she did it often and even for fun in her spare time. She was faster than anyone else on Skyhold and her endurance was far more trained than theirs.

“Right, Warden Blackwall,” Cullen resumed, “So I guess they will protect her by all means.”

“Wait. What do you mean by _protect_?” Bull suddenly was highly intrigued again. “You said there will be no hand to hand combat or anything.”

It was funny to see but suddenly it seemed to be only the Commander, Bull and Blackwall were still talking. Three leaders discussing strategies. The other four were still there, still listening. Only far less into the subject than the three men now leaning over the desk like it was a real war table meeting.

Cullen shook his head. “No, this is one of the few additional rules: No one is allowed to do anything that harms or disturbs another contestant in order to gain advantage. No bumping into another person’s shoot, no jostling on the circuit. And:” he grinned, „No bees!” there was a bit of chuckles and laughter and Cullen waited until they went silent again before he resumed: „And of course: no direct or indirect attacks. Who harms or disturbs another contestant on purpose, whether with magic or by any other force will be disqualified immediately. Doing something that interferes with another contestant by accident will be punished by an additional round on the circuit for the dummy-shot will be counted as a failure this very round.”

“So how can they _‘protect’_ their best runner if there is no threat except the own exhaustion or poor aiming?” Blackwall urged to know.

“By helping out or even sacrifice for one another.” Cullen explained. “It is allowed to save another person from going out by killing their dummy instead of your own. To the cost of an additional round of course or, in case your dummy wouldn’t fall when it must, that you put yourself out of the game instead of the other.”

Coles face brightened up and the other men grinned slightly because they knew that this rule made the boy utterly happy.

“What else we need to know?” Bull asked.

Cullen shrugged. “Only one thing I’m not entirely sure what to make out of it. It reads: ‘no shapeshifting’”

Solas frowned. “Well, since we have a number of mages amongst us and shapeshifting is a known ability, it makes sense to regulate it in the name of balance.” He stated with a calm voice.

The others nodded. Dorian grinned and asked with a daring voice: “I really would _love_ to know to what animal _you_ would shift…” he teased the elven mage.

Solas glared at the Tevene and shot back with a cold voice: “I never claimed that I was a shapeshifter. I just said that any of us _could_ be one. So what about you, Dorian? A cat? Or a lizard?”They stared at each other already tensed as if they were just about to start a kind of magical brawl.

“Boys…” Varric was eager to calm them down. “No need to brawl and throw sparkles around. I think we all can relax and see what tomorrow brings even if we will not witness Lady Glitterpants shifting into a maker-forsaken snake.”

That brought the two mages back to reason and evoked even some well hidden chuckles about Varrics mention of Grand-Enchanter Vivienne de Fer.

“Good point Varric.” Bull took over again. “Whom do you think they have recruited? Last time we talked, they were short of 3 against us.”

“There are not too many options.” Cullen thought out loud. “So I guess Vivienne might be a logical assumption.”

“Put in whomever you like I only say one thing:” Blackwall stated. “The Inquisitor, Leliana and Cassandra will go all the way, no matter how long it will take, they will be determined until we face a decision. Sera will lose interest as soon as she finds something that’s catching her interest more than running and shooting basically for fun. And if they really talked in Madame de Fer into this, she will be flawless until the moment she feels her duty is done. She will do anything but with no heart. I don’t expect her to be in with any passion.”

The others nodded. Agreed.

“Leaves us with two wildcards here.” Bull summarized and shrugged. “Well, I don’t see why this should bother us. We will adapt.” He turned towards Cullen again. “Any other suggestions, Commander? Beside using our stamina wisely?”

Cullen glanced around.

“I will not give particular orders. I assume the ladies will try to mock and distract us. It’s a fun thing to entertain our people and no serious threat after all. But don’t let yourself be lured in some senseless waste of energy by running after Sera who pulls jokes on you how slow you are or anything. I will not tell you how to beat your dummies, either. Try to destroy them as fast as you can, every additional round will drain the strength out of you more than necessary.” He looked at Bull, Blackwall and Dorian in particular. “You are the Inquisitors main-party on missions. You are used to her pace and know her best. So I might opt for you three to be the last ones in the race but I won’t make this an order, too. Just see how things go and since we can talk any time during the tournament, we can change plans if necessary. Just you all give your best so we won’t be the target of bad jokes and mean tavern songs ever after. Can we settle on that?”

“Aye.” Blackwall nodded first.

“Sounds like fun. Let’s make this a great one.” Bull said with his own enthusiasm.

“I’m certain we can make this a _thing_.” Dorian grinned.

“I assume there’s no chance to get out of this, so I will do it in an appropriate way.” Solas face was plain but he seemed to have accepted the fact that this was going to happen whether he approved it or not.

“I will run and I will help.” Cole seemed eager.

“So… I think I have no choice here.” Varric shrugged but the little smirk on his face showed that at least he admired the idea of doing a good thing with his friends and companions. But he could not resist to ad: “But please note: I'm wasted on cross-country. We Dwarves are natural sprinters, very dangerous over short distances.”

They all had to chuckle.

“Good then.” Cullen made a closing gesture. “So let’s do it. And let’s do it good, gentlemen!”

They were already about to leave, when Varric spoke again. „Aren’t we supposed to designate a team-captain or something like that?” all the faces suddenly turned towards Cullen who simply shrugged. „Well I’m not sure that would be necessary but if so I would not dare to declare myself over a group of so many fine men with no doubt a real great deal of leadership qualities. Nevertheless if you want me to I’ll volunteer since I was the one who brought the  _happy news,”_ he chuckled sarcastically, „to you in the first place...” He glanced around, his eyes laid a bit longer first on Bull then on Blackwall who both just shook their heads, happy not being forced to be in charge of this upcoming thing.

„I think it’s settled then, Team-Captain Cullen.” Varric stated with a smirk and all of them nodded confirmation before they left Cullens office.

Cullen smiled. Finally felt a little amusement about this upcoming event and if he was honest to him self he was almost looking forward to it.

 

 

 


End file.
